Is it possible to keep living at home with dementia?
Moving house is hugely stressful at the best of times, but when you have dementia it can be traumatic. So if the person you care about wants to remain in their own home, here’s a few things you need to consider
Does this sound familiar?
The person you love has lived in their own home for many years. It’s cosy, comfortable and filled with happy memories. It also feels safe because they know exactly where everything is, and don’t worry about the creaky stairs or squeaky doors. Their memory might be getting worse, but the routine and familiarity of these surroundings means they’re still managing to cope. They have no desire whatsoever to move house. In fact, even thinking about it upsets them.
In a nutshell
It’s hardly surprising that someone with dementia might want to stay living at home and, although you might think they’d be safer somewhere else, you could be wrong because people with dementia often benefit in numerous ways from remaining in a place they are familiar with – even if they live alone – for as long as possible.
You might need to make some alterations to certain rooms or areas of the home, particularly staircases, bathrooms and kitchens, to ensure they’re dementia-friendly but this doesn’t mean you’ve got a major renovation project on your hands. Even small tweaks, such as installing a grab rail, throwing away old slippers and rugs that could cause slips and falls, fitting smoke alarms, or switching to brighter lightbulbs, could make a big difference to their safety and your peace of mind.
Not sure where to start?
Get help from an expert. Ask your GP to refer you for a care needs assessment. A social worker or care manager will then visit you and your loved one at their home and suggest practical ideas for helping them carry out daily activities (such as eating and dressing) as safely as possible. You might even be entitled to a grant or financial help.
When a loved one has dementia the last thing you want to have to worry about is theft or burglary. Take advantage of the latest assistive technology gadgets such as tracking devices, sensors, cameras, key safes and memory aids in which you can record messages reminding them to lock doors and windows before they go to bed, or not to take lots of cash with them when they go out.
Are they eating and drinking properly? A healthy balanced diet could keep them feeling happier and more alert, and it needn’t involve cooking complicated meals. Also, check their fridge and food cupboard regularly for out-of-date food and, whenever possible, make sure they’ve got a couple of tasty meals or snacks ready to eat each day.
Can’t manage on your own? Ask for help
Making sure a loved one with dementia stays safe is a big responsibility. It’s hard enough if you are a full time carer who lives with them, but if you’re also trying to manage your own home, family and maybe even a job, it can quickly begin to feel overwhelming.
The last thing your loved one would want is for you to become stressed and miserable. Enlist support from others, not just relatives (who may not live nearby), and confide in friends and neighbours you trust. Could someone hold a spare set of keys? Could someone else pop in to see them when you’re at work? Remember, a person with dementia can become very lonely and bored if they spend a long time on their own – a short visit could brighten their day.
What are you entitled to?
If you haven’t already had one, ask your local social services department for an assessment of need. Your loved one might find they’re able to get meals delivered to them at home, help with housework, or community transport. They – or you – might be entitled to benefits too which could make life a little easier.
Your emergency plan
It’s really important to plan for the worst, whilst trying very hard to make sure it never happens.
– Your loved one has phone numbers for everyone they might need – from family, to a GP or carer – either programmed into their phone or stuck to a wall where they can see them.
– They have an alarm or pendant they can press to call for help.
– You have the contact details of at least one person (preferably more) who lives nearby and could pop in to see them if you’re really worried.
Good to know
You aren’t alone. As awareness of dementia increases, everyone is becoming more understanding of and compassionate towards people with dementia. With this in mind, the Government’s Dementia Friendly Communities Programme is having considerable success in creating communities which are more ‘dementia-friendly’. For example:
– Schemes such as Dementia Friends are proving a really successful way to help ease isolation and depression.
– The Dementia-friendly technology charter is also helping to make sure that people with dementia (and their families) can make the most of new technologies and remain independent for as long as possible. Click here to find out more.